not that scary, after all

browsing in search of possible information about science writing (yes, it's one of the ideas that are crossing my mind these days) i bumped into a text that really scared me. at least, at first. i mean, i already ask myself enough, why on earth should anyone be interested in reading what i write?? - and yet i keep writing this blog! but that's mainly due to my bad habit of not listening to myself...

being already so encased in self-doubt, you might want to read something more reassuring than ...
"Things have gotten so bad that hordes of researchers are now thinking of pursuing writing as a viable “alternative” career. Let’s take a step back and think about how ridiculous this is."...

which it is written by a science writer, so it has to be kind of true - at least, a bit. ridicolous, isn't it?! feeling of doomsday again, all over my head. damn. and as i go on reading, it becomes even worse...
"Possession of a Ph.D. and a word processor does not make one a science journalist, any more than a fedora and a camera make one a photojournalist. This is why many would-be science writers enter the field only to find themselves playing a game they do not enjoy, whose rules they do not understand."

makes total sense to me. it's actually what i'm already scared of the most. to begin playing a game i have no clue about. just that until now i thought it was only one of my paranoiae, which are very many and, often, a teeny bit excessive (that's also why i don't usually trust or listen to myself). now, reading it written by somebody kind of in charge, seems more trustable, and boosts the self-doubt by a million or so. damn.

but then i go on...
"It is a world where progress is marked in word counts and column inches, days filled with telephone interviews, transcription, and note-taking. The sound bite is king, and the quotes must be accurate."
and i think, well, but it's not that bad.
"Deadlines are sacrosanct."
well, what's wrong with that??
"The essence of the job is the craft of turning words into sentences, building up paragraphs and stacking them into stories, then watching them appear in print for the world to see."
it actually sounds perfectly fine... but again, it's probably just my romantic view of this job, being naive and having absolutely no clue about it.

i'm totally disenchanted by now... i go on reading by inertia, just to check how else this guy is going to crash my soul...
"About ninety-nine percent of researchers will find that job description depressing, perhaps even terrifying."
seriously?! how is that possible? even compared to... research?? seriously?!
"If you are part of that ninety-nine percent, you are truly seeking an “alternative” career. For you, I have two words of advice: law school."
law school?? no thanks. i guess i'm not in that 99% anyway.
"Writing is not an alternative to anything. It is a compulsion, and if it is not your compulsion, you will fail at it."
fair enough. sounds familiar, too... mmm, after all i kinda like what he's saying. let's see where he's heading to...

"If you are part of the remaining one percent, I already know a few things about you. Hidden somewhere in your home is a journal, where you collect ideas for stories you plan to write. You probably worked on the school newspaper and took creative writing classes, and you have a great idea for a novel. You think best with a pen in your hand. As a researcher, you have a hard time concentrating on your sub-field, preferring to browse widely in the scientific journals. You often see poetry, humor, and irony lurking in research results. In your spare time, you read an eclectic assortment of fiction and nonfiction, and history fascinates you. Writing is not something you do - it is who you are."

crap, that' s me! they're watching me - even more than the phdcomics guys do! it's true, i have a journal with ideas for stories to write, and it's true, i do think best with a freaking pen in my hand! after all, if i'm awake now and what i'm doing is writing, i guess there is an answer...

"If that description hits close to home, you are either going to become a professional writer or spend the rest of your life wishing that you were."

and it's not that scary, after all... spending the rest of your life wishing that you were, this is way more scary.