losing perspective (and stuff btw)

well, it all started less than one week ago.
well, probably things started not really working properly a bit earlier. like things that did not really make sense started like 9-10 days ago. like destille signs. but that's another story.
so, last sunday i leave hd, didn't really want to but kind of had to. went to a winter school my institute sort of organised. could not avoid going. still some destille signs during the journey, like rushing to get the train while still literally packing, like catching the train in munich by a miracle in spite of the 1h coincidence, and other stuff like that. want to vomit on the bus up the mountains. but then i arrive to this village in the middle of nowhere, well in the middle of the alps but also nowhere, and things start looking better. nice people, a lot of snow, didn't expect it at this time of the year. start going to the lectures, they're fine, then get skipass, skis and boots, start going down the slopes... and it's lovely, nobody is around because it's still not peak season, and there is a lot of snow...
and then just after a couple of hours i just fall, like it never happened to me, and i hear crack. shit. total fear.

i still don't know what's wrong, something with my knee. no broken bone, that should be sure. hopefully no broken ligament, but this still need be checked. since then i am not supposed to walk. ten days of rest. which is killing me, even though i'm not really resting. i did not rest at the school, wanted at least attend classes. so i was begging all the time people to drive me 300 m to the conference hall, jumping on crutches all over the place... i was just starting getting tired of that, but really tired, and i found out i have a fever, but a really strong one, like 39 C... and my throat is full of crap so i'm also on antibiotics...

so finally yesterday i manage to escape from that teeny place in the middle of nowhere and after a long and perilous journey, on buses, trains, flight and obviously crutches!! after being checked at the airport because my orthopedic device beeped, after everything... i am finally back in my room and no fever and i can finally sleep well and have sweet dreams again!!
it's still a mess to jump around and bother people all the time, but still, i think i'll have to do it for a while. don't know, feels weird the idea of having to stay rest for a while. even though i know i have to, it's the only way to recover.
so i'm losing perception. i'm losing the whole framework. i was kind of trying to sort out things, and now i cannot even tide up my room, which by the way is a mess.
and i lost several small things too, which don't really matter but altogether it's another sign: one sock, one ball from the piercing, two hanging thingies from my mobile, and today another earing.

what is nature trying to tell me with all this?? what?? slow down?? (with what?? me?? not really the most frantic girl in town...) relax?? focus on something?? what??


or maybe i should just do what rob is suggesting me:
"This would be an excellent time for you to visit terminally ill patients in a hospice or go on a tour of a maximum security prison. To take maximum advantage of the current cosmic opportunities, you might also travel to the Slum Theme Park in Americus, Georgia, where Habitat for Humanity has built replicas of the leaky-roofed, earthen-floored, bug-infested huts that so many millions of the world's poor call home. In other words, Aries, I recommend that you give yourself firsthand exposure to people whose problems are much more demanding than yours. To do so at this juncture in your life's journey would provide a helpful shock that would inspire you to conquer the personal challenge you find most daunting. "