thinking about relationships

always wondered why people who had a long relationship with someone and, after spending years together, suddenly break up, why most of these people immediately start a new serious and generally long-lasting relationship right after.

actually thought i knew the answer. thought it’s some kind of disease, in the sense that once you’re used for years to picture yourself together with someone, you cannot stop doing that. you don’t see yourself as an independent entity anymore, and although you’re not looking for anybody special since you’re still attached to your former partner, still you immediately get charmed by someone else.

my friend laura a couple of night ago made me look at the issue from another point of view. she’s in the “seeing someone else” phase after a major break up. what she said is that it’s because after spending years with someone you’re so used to have someone around and to make this person feel comfortable, that you easily and quickly make other people feel comfortable. and they like you and want to spend time with you.

makes sense, to some extent.
although i’m still pretty much convinced of my opinion, which explains WHY people after a major break up tend to end up in a new relationship, this theory actually explains pretty well HOW this happens.

am slightly scared. if laura’s theory is correct, then i’m fucked. no way a pathological non-relationship person like me would make someone else feel comfortable.

thinking about it, laura’s theory could also explain why people who are currently in a relationship are somehow more capable to flirt than single people. well i actually thought it’s because you don’t need anything, you’re basically looking for nothing, and that’s what makes you look more interesting and spontaneous than others. but probably there’s the making someone feeling comfortable factor too. and the self esteem coming from successfully making your own relationship work.

and it’s probably this self esteem which remains even after the break up, the self esteem for having anyway managed to make something work for a while...

makes sense and scares at same time.
well it’s 2.45 in the night. whatever could make sense and scare me, so good night.............